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 I d have been miserable. If word got around about the show,
we d be social pariahs, probably kicked out of church, which
would have killed Lisa. If we d moved, I d have always
remembered. If I had gotten out of the train after sex, do you know
how much more miserable I d have been? A lifetime of kissing a
woman who didn t arouse me, fired only by memories of the man
who did.
Jacob looked pained and forced the words out.  There are other
men.
 I wouldn t, Nick said confidently, then crumbled.  Or I
would have, only to destroy myself and her in the process.
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Jacob squeezed him tighter.  So I decided your life and get to
keep you instead.
Nick looked thoughtful.  I broke her heart, but she probably
got over it and married someone better for her. And I got you. I m
yours and that Ferris wheel ride s about all the marriage I ll ever
get& or want.
 Did you ever think of calling her? Jacob asked as he loaded
his breakfast tray. Nick only took coffee.
Nick s face went shifty and he hesitated as if planning what to
say.  After thirteen years, what is there to say? Oh hi, hon. Sorry to
skip town like that, but you re better off without me anyway
because I m gay? The humor came out forced and harsh, as if
Nick himself didn t believe the words. Nick sat down and drank
some coffee.
Jacob swallowed a mouthful of eggs. He ate more slowly than
usual, his fingers feeling stiff. Nick did not eat. They finished and
headed to the animal car. Jacob took off his shirt as usual. Nick ran
his fingers over the soft spots of his chest and stomach that hadn t
been there before. He kissed one nipple.
 Nicholas, stop that or I ll never get done. Torturo peeked out
for a moment behind Jacob s eyes.  Demanding, distracting little
thing.
Nick laughed and the sound made Jacob glad. He set about
pitching the hay and making sure the animals were fed. Nick
checked the animals over for illness or signs of trouble.
Jacob dropped the pitchfork when he saw Nick buffing
Precious s horn. She rubbed up under his chin and he brushed out
her white coat before buffing her hooves. He knew now that Nick
had told the truth about everything. He d learned early that
Precious couldn t abide frauds or liars. It had taken her some time
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to make up to him. In thirteen years, Nick had never touched the
beast.
He mopped his face with his shirt, the November day warm.
Nick finished with Precious and went to get some water. He trailed
light fingers over some of the softer places in Jacob s once-firm
abdomen, and finished by tweaking a nipple as he passed.
Jacob gave his lover a grin.  Is that a hint to hurry?
Nick finished filling the poultry watering jar, screwed the pan
on the top and flipped it over.  Yeah. Your little trip changed you.
Jacob caught his breath, more winded than he should have been
from pitching hay.  So I m noticing.
Nick set out the water bowls and hung the hose in the cyclops
bull s trough. He splashed a bit of water at Jacob and snickered
when he jumped. Jacob got a wicked grin and tossed a forkful of
hay his direction, landing it atop Nick s head.
Nick sputtered and shook the hay out of his face.  You looked
overheated.
Jacob hung up the fork and loomed over him before wrestling
him down onto a bale of straw. Nick yanked him down for a hard
fast kiss, much to his surprise.
 You haven t been this hot for me in years. He smiled as Nick
kissed him again, with a wet and open tongue.
 No, and I m sorry for that. Sometimes, you almost have to
lose something good before you appreciate it. He kissed Jacob
again.  Not going to lose you.
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CHAPTER 14
MICHAEL
The Show continued. They continued. A few new lines, a few
more gray hairs turned up with each stop. Jacob fretted, but Nick
found him irresistibly sexy.
The search for a replacement talker consumed Nick. Clovis
kept telling him to hurry. But one after another, the towns came
and went, with no one of distinction until they hit California. In a
little coastal town, a handsome blond youth with pretty eyes
listened attentively and responded to Nick s flirt.
Nick beckoned him up on stage without asking his name. The
Phantasmagoria whispered to him, the quiet, slightly French voice
telling him that Michael would be perfect.  Come on up here, sir, I
need your help for this next bit. He gestured.
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 Me?
 You, Michael. Nick smiled. Michael climbed up the steps at
the front of the stage, smiling, but Nick could see the uncertainty
on his face.  All right, all I need you to do is hold this. He handed
Michael a large placard with the words  The Phantasmagoria Ten-
in-One on it in old-fashioned circus lettering.
 Just keep watching him, folks, and you ll see something
amazing. But now, take a look at Hannah. Hannah, Hannah from
Indiana, the bearded lady. Come on out here and let the folks see
your pretty face, Hannah darlin . Nick let his Missouri country
accent go a little more hick. He raised his voice, projecting it over
the Midway.  We re gonna have us a free show right here, ladies
and gents, that s right, absolutely free, right here and now! Gonna
bring out Hannah the Bearded Lady, Marvello the Master of
Illusion. You ve heard the folks talking and now you can see them
for yourself.
He took a quick breath as Hannah paraded out, in her heels and
fishnets and bodysuit-tux.  Hannah from Indiana, folks, isn t she
gorgeous? All woman and the sexiest mouth in the world, but with
special grooming needs. Give her  stache a twirl there, Michael, let
her take you  round the world. It s all real, folks, and all the others
are alive on the inside!
Nick smiled as Michael twirled the end of Hannah s mustache
and showed the crowd it was indeed growing out of her face and
not glued on.
 Now like I said, Hannah s a special lady and it takes a special
man to understand her. Marvello came out on cue, with a flourish
of his red satin lined cape.  As you can see, folks, they have the
same taste. Marvello the Master of Illusion. Inside you can see him
saw lovely Hannah in half, make a woman out of a corpse and lots
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more. All right, folks, don t quit watching our friend here. The
squeaking of wheels as Hannah helped Marv wheel out the
guillotine made Nick quiet for a minute.  Marvello the magician is
going to cut off our helper s head and then I ll have Michael tell
you all about it! Nick announced as Hannah and Marvello set up
the trick.
Michael laughed nervously.  I don t know, man& 
Marvello, his face grave and implacable, beckoned him.
 Come.
Michael laughed a little more and approached the garish red
and gold-painted execution device.
 Trust us, Hannah said loudly.  He does it to me six times a
day. She held the neck stocks open and Michael laid his head in.
Marvello laughed.  Of course, I should add my birth name is
Henry& Although I am no king. He gave a booming laugh and
dropped the blade. Michael jumped as it rattled home.
Marvello raised the blade and Nick helped Michael out.  A big
hand for our helper, Michael, folks. The crowd applauded wildly
and Michael looked from side to side.  Don t nod too much there,
Nick warned him.  I don t want to have to chase your head like I
did the last guy s. The clowns got it and played soccer with it [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]